Finding that One Particular Harbor

Those that know me well know that I can stress over little things and am slightly OCD about order around me. I can get frustrated easily and need an outlet for such frustration or it just bottles up. I always wanted to find 'peace within' but without actually escaping to the sand and surf that calms me best I just can't seem to focus. I thought yoga would be a good way to get centered and in shape at the same time, but I became bored after about 5 minutes and then just thought of all the things I still needed to get done and the fact that I could be doing those things right then.

I have not always been this on edge and long for the days where flip flops and a good song would take me to that "One Particular Harbor". It is just so hard to get there now! I was flipping through the latest edition of Carolina Parent Magazine and stumpled upon an article called "The Secret to Happiness: It's No Secret." It turns out that in my struggle to balance everything in my life, putting Me last is the worst thing I could do. The article suggests taking time for myself and for my husband in order to be happy all around. Of course I do not appreciate that the article points out that shopping is NOT a positive activity, but I did find the article very interesting.

One bit of advice that I plan to incorporate in my daily life is to appreciate the 'micro-moments' and stop focusing on the huge stressful decisions. For example, I am going to stop thinking about where to send my kid to school and be happy that my husband is going to bring me a Chipotle burrito for lunch! If I can be happy with the little things, I think this will help with my overall attitude. I am also going to try to schedule 1 thing for myself each day. Maybe a bubble bath, maybe 15 minutes with a book... it doesn't matter how small, but this can give me something to look forward to each day. Today I will try to file my nails, they are getting pretty ragged. I will start small and work up to larger events that require a sitter. I also need to remember that I have a great life and no matter what work or other commitments may bring nothing is really THAT bad. Especially in light of the earthquake disaster in Haiti I need to wake up every morning and sing 'Its a beautiful day' and truly appreciate my life.

Another bit of good advice is to lower expectations. I rely heavily on lists for everything that I do. In a way it helps free my mind because I know everything I need to do is on the list, but at the same time it causes great stress when everything has not been completed. I need to lower my expectations and set goals of completing 3 things on the list a day. Now if only I could get everyone else to lower their expectations of me!

Here are 10 Steps to Increase Happiness as provided in the article:

1. Put on your own oxygen mask first. (Or take care of yourself first.)

2. Build a village.

3. Expect effort and enjoyment, not perfection.

4. Choose gratitude, forgiveness and optimism.

5. Raise children’s emotional intelligence.

6. Form happiness habits.

7. Teach self-discipline.

8. Enjoy the present.

9. Rig the environment for happiness.

10. Eat dinner together.

Good luck making a happier you!