Thank you note etiquette

Before I begin please let me say that I am sincerely grateful for every gift that I and my family have ever received!

I understand that after a graduation party you should certainly send out thank you notes, especially to those who gave the gift you really wanted... money. I think of this as a right of passage into adulthood and a way to show respect to your elders (because let's face it, your friends who graduate with you aren't buying you a gift). I equally understand that after your wedding you must send thank you notes for all gifts received. I consider this a test of the husband and wife's ability to handle the tense situation of who will actually write the notes.

However, I must argue that once a child is brought into this world all bets should be off! I typically enjoy writing thank you notes and do my best to make them as personal as possible. For the gifts we received before Mattingly was born I was on the ball. I had written all thank yous, addressed them and stamped them. The day we got home from the hospital with our little girl, they were in the mail. Once the news that she was born circulated the cococnut telegraph, additional gifts began pouring in and of course I LOVED it. I loved opening little tiny dress shoes and cute outfits and toys, etc... but then I realized that I needed to write thank you notes, WHAT! When I go all day without going to the bathroom because she is a baby and needs to be taken care of, when exactly am I to write thank you notes? How am I suppose to personalize thank you notes to people I have never met, who just happen to be friends of our relatives. Of course I appreciate the thoughtfulness and I understand the fun of buying baby presents, even for someone you don't know but really? We even received a few presents without a card or a name and we had to track down who they were from. I have done my best to get them all out and I feel caught up but today, when I was going through our address list to make sure it is up to date for Christmas, it hit me like a mack truck that I sent thank you cards to one person twice, once for the gift they gave us and once for the gift someone else gave us. Yes, that means I missed one and I know it. When I thought it, but could not confirm I could sleep at night. Now I know that there is still one more to write and it is weighing on me.

Of course you may think... hey lazy idiot, you could be writing it now... yeah, I thought of that too!

I think I am just getting fed up with it. I still have hostile feelings from the wedding thank yous. We had them all out within the first two months, but we still had to hear "Aunt/Uncle so and so hasn't received a thank you note, of course she/he just wanted to make sure you got the gift, but you should probably send one soon" from our parents. Really, I mean really. Can we have a moment? It makes me wonder if that person gave us a gift just for the thank you note. Well guess what (no I won't go there).

Is this generational? I don't expect a thank you note for the gifts that I send. I send them because I want to send them. I have started to write "no thank you note necessary" on the message because I do not want to cause anyone any stress, especially those people I care enough about to give a gift to. Maybe I just need to start giving anonomously... well let's be real, I still want some recognition, I am not a saint! Maybe Mattingly's generation will be the ones who send everything anonomously, now wouldn't that be the true meaning of selfless giving.